I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
