You're my little dorito
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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