I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
