Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I cockslap morals
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
