I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
