Sponge bath it is.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
