So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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