Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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