You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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