Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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