After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
