My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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