It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Couch. On fire.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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