Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
