I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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