you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize