we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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