dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize