Where is the hickey?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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