I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
