i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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