Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You're my little dorito
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Vodka?
Forever.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
