I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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