we made out on top of his cat.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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