Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
