you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
