Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The air was thick with penises
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
