That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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