you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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