Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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