you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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