she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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