I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
