I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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