am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
