You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
