who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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