Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
