She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize