I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
