Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
