So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
