Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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