I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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