He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
