shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
