my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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