What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize