Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
