Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I love you.
Bad choice
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
