If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
