sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
