The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
